Last weekend, I went to Bridal Closet, a store specializing in rental of bridal gowns as well as bridesmaid’s gowns in Singapore.

I first started noticing this shop because of the number of times they’ve been mentioned on bridal forums. I had expected a positive experience there, since forumers alluded to a wide range of selections, and competitive prices, in various forum threads. Instead, I felt highly uncomfortable in the shop.

From the moment I stepped in, till the moment I left, all I heard were the words “my dear”. The owner herself (Elsie), and her shop assistants, all had this bloody annoying habit of calling every single customer “my dear”.

Please wait, my dear, I’ll try to look for dresses in that color for you.

Sorry to keep you waiting, my dear, here are the dresses. But the dressing room is occupied, so please wait, okay, my dear?

No, my dear, we don’t sell dresses, only rental. And here are our packages, my dear.

My dear, you can go into the dressing room now. Do you need help to zip up, my dear?

I think this dress looks better on you, my dear.

Thanks for coming, my dear! Here’s my name card, my dear. Call me again!

Excuse me, are we like, best friends? I’m not sure what I’ve done to give you that impression, but I’m pretty sure that calling someone “my dear” is something not done on the first meeting.

I’ll answer to almost anything but PUHLEEZE, I beg of you!!!  — Don’t call me “Dear.” The only thing worse than “Dear” is “My Dear.” “My Dear” is like Lee Press-on Nailsscraping along the 405 at 110 MPH.

Blame Margaret Mitchell. When Rhett Butler told Scarlett O’Hara, “Frankly, My Dear, I don’t give a damn,”  he was lying. Of course Rhett gave a damn. But like everyone who calls anyone “My Dear,” Rhett was angry. “My Dear” – was code for: “Damn you, Scarlett O’Hara — you gorgeous, headstrong bitch: I can’t control you!”

Bile, hate and vitriol oozes out of “My Dear.” “My Dear” is condescending. It’s passive-aggressive. Nobody is smiling when they say, “My Dear.” When they call you, their “Dear,” they’re annoyed.  “My Dear” is hostile. There is nothing dear about “Dear” and “My” is stifling and possessive with a noxious whiff of faux-superiority.

- Lisa Medway, “Frankly, My Dear — Don’t Call Me My Dear”

The author says that calling someone “my dear” is often condescending and gives the person who uses it an air of faux-superiority. And I agree whole-heartedly. This can be easily rectified if only they had bothered to put in a little bit of effort.

So, my dear Bridal Closet: When you greet customers at the door, do try to introduce yourself like this, instead:

Hi, I’m Elsie / Felicia / whoever. Welcome to Bridal Closet! How may I address you?

Then make the effort to remember the names.

Judging from the amount of exposure you get through bridal forums, I know that you meet a lot of people everyday, but calling them “my dear” does not endear you to them, and neither does it make them feel warm and welcomed at your shop. And if you’ve heard of personalized service, you’ll know that putting in that little bit of effort will go a very long way.

Watch this video on how personalized service can lead to a happy customer who will help you sell your brand:

Do watch the rest of Joseph Michelli’s 8-part series on Customer Experience, if you’re interested to know how you can improve customers’ experience with your company.

Psst. Your website could do with some updating too.